The Real Voldemort
by Shankz1
Summary: I am the Queen of Parody. And since, Eminem is my favorite dude to spoof. MY 3rd redition of Real Slim Shady. Voldie style. YES 5/24/01!! FINALLY FINISHED!!!MWHAHAHA!
1. Verse numero uno

  
The Real Voldemort  
  
A parody by Tom Greenish-Blue, aka Shankz  
Verse 1  
"Real Slim Shady" by Eminem  
  
"Will the Real Voldemort please stand up?  
I repeat, will the real Voldemort please stand up?  
We're going to have a problem here"  
Y'all act like ya never seen a Death Eater before  
Jaws on the floor, and jumpin' in the Common Room  
Like Ron and Harry, Hermione burst in the door  
Started nagging at them worst than before  
It's the return of the...Aye! Wait, you're kidding, Moody didn't just do what I  
Think he did, did he?  
And Wormtail said- Nothing you Muggles! Wormtail's my slave; he's locked in my flat's basement (haha)  
Gyrffindors love Voldemort, (chigga chigga)  
"Voldemort, I'm sick of him, look at him  
Walking around being called 'You Know Who'"  
"Yeah, but he's so evil though"  
I probably got a thousand of screws up in my head loose  
But no worse than what's going on in a Auror's Meeting Room  
Sometimes, I just want to get on the radio, and let loose  
But I can't. And it's cool for Harry Potter to try to kill me.  
"My scar is on my head! My scar is on my head! And if I'm lucky  
I might get a little face-time!"  
And that's the message we deliver to little wizards   
And expect them not to know what "Adva Kadavra" is  
Of Course, they're gonna know what a Death Eater is  
By the time the hit Hogwarts, they've got Slytherins, don't they?  
We ain't nothing but humans-  
Well, some of us Ghosts  
Who haunt other people like the Exorcist  
But if we can haunt the wizards, and muggles,  
There's no reason that a wizard and a troll can't elope!  
But if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote,  
Death Eaters, wave your wands  
Yell "Imperio!"   
There it goes:  
I'm Voldemort,  
Yes, I'm the real Voldie  
All you other Voldemort's are just imitating  
Won't the real Voldemort please stand up?  
Please Stand up?  



	2. Verse Numero Dos

The Real Voldemort  
By Tom Greenish-Blue aka Shankz  
Parody of "Real Slim Shady" by Eminem  
  
Gildroy Lockhart don't gotta curse to sell fame  
Well, I do so curse him, and curse you too  
Think I give a care about an O.W.L?  
Some of you teachers can't even stomach me  
Let alone stand me  
"But, Tom, if you pass, would it be weird?"  
"Why so you can lie to get me here?  
Sit me here next to Dumbledore   
Lily Evans better switch me chairs  
So I can sit next to Snape and James Potter  
Hear them argue who she,  
Went out with first  
But me on full blast on WTV  
"Yeah, he's smart but I think he's evil. Hehe!"  
I should levitate an audio on HP3  
And show the whole world how you give Voldemort Ahh-  
Sick of you little Gyrffindors  
All you do is annoy me  
That's why I am sent here to destroy you!  
There are a million of us  
Just like me  
Who curse like  
Just don't give a spell  
Like me  
Fly, curse and act like me  
It might be the next best thing, but it's not me!  
  
I'm Voldemort  
Yes, I'm the real Voldie  
All you other Voldemorts are just imitating  
Won't the real Voldemort please stand up?  
Please Stand up?  



	3. Verse numero thres

A/n, I've finally decided to finish it!!!  
  
"The Real Voldemort"   
  
I'm like a broomtrip to listen to  
Cuz I'm only giving you things  
You only talk about with your friends inside your Common Room  
The only difference is I've got the  
Evilness  
To say it in front of y'all  
And I don't have to be Lockhart or  
Dumbledore at all  
I just get on the wand and spit it  
And though you don't like to admit it  
I'm better than 90% of you Wizards out there  
And you wonder who come I'm not on one of the Wizard Cards  
It's funny,   
With the rate I'm going when I'm 450  
I'll be living in the Riddle House  
Transfiguring Nagini's tail  
Cuz this whole box of Floo Power isn't working  
And every Wizard is just a Voldemort lurking  
Could be working at Leaky Cauldron  
Spittin' in your butterbeer  
Circlin' screaming  
"ADVA KEDRAVA!"  
With the wand down  
And the Hogwarts Up  
Will the Real Voldemort  
Please stand up?  
Put one of those wands on  
Each hand up  
And be proud to be evil  
And out of your mind and out  
of control  
2,00000,000 more times,  
Loud as you can!  
How's it go?  
  
I'm Voldemort   
Yes I'm the Real Voldie  
All you other Voldemort's  
Are just imitating  
Won't the Real Voldemort  
Please Stand up?  
Please Stand up?  
  
Forget this; let's all stand up!  
  



End file.
